The Love Issue
Subscribe
Feature 1 | Feature 2
Delivered free for Yalies
$30/year by mail
Free online
Be a part of the Yale Record's continued financial solvency!
2007-2008 Editorial Board
Gregor Nazarian '09
CHAIRMAN
Gregor knows the answer to all of life's little questions, such as "Where's the beef?", "No, really, where the heck is the beef?" and "Where the fuck is that stupid beef you asshole, and don't lie to me this time, I'll kill a man if I have to?" 1-900-BEEF-FOR-U $1.99/min.
Ben Orlin '09
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
A steadfast liberal conservative, Ben's political career rapidly accelerated when he discovered a second use for sweatbands.
Adam Bildersee '09
PUBLISHER
Adam didn't expect to have a bio here. Please wait while he fabricates his life accordingly.
Daniel Zier '09
SUPPLEMENTALS EDITOR
If one word can best describe the ever-burgeoning legend that is Daniel Zier, it is undoubtedly "Speedo." After an embarrassing trip to Brazil during which he was ostracized for his lack of genital protrusion in his standard “board shorts,” Daniel vowed never to be humiliated again by his otherwise precise sense of fashion. He unabashedly braves the brutal New Haven winter with a sensual collection of marble sacks, sporting everything from the classic, Brazilian-inspired tanga to the always-popular t-back. Aside from Speedos, Daniel’s eclectic interests range from beaches to tanning to life guarding. He is always equipped with a CPR mask and zinc oxide, and he can frequently be seen on Cross Campus instructing young children not to hang on the diving board.
Jacob Abolafia '10
MANAGING EDITOR
Due to copyright restrictions, Winston Churchill's three volume biography of Jacob Abolafia cannot appear on the Record's website. We at the Record have every hope that the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals will reverse this highly unconstitutional restriction of free speech, at which time Mr. Abolafia's bio will be made available for full perusal. Please direct all questions to Mr. Abolafia's attorney. E-mail: akhil.amar(at)yale(dot)edu
Mike Thornton '09
MANAGING EDITOR
Mike Thornton is the Mike Thornton of self-referentiality.
Katy Waldman '10
MANAGING EDITOR
Katy is a small-town girl with one dream--the dream of writing Sports columns for the Yale Daily News. Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding early in her freshman year, she found herself at the Record and has been diligently reporting the weekly IM standings on the back cover of the magazine ever since.
Nozlee Samadzadeh '10
ONLINE EDITOR
Despite initial disappointment that the Yale Record was not in fact a society of archivists, Nozlee quickly became a member of its editorial board in order to change the Record from within.
Simon Swartzman '10
COPY EDITOR
Simon was born with the uncanny ability to standardize a manuscript's punctuation, comma, and grammar rules with laserbeams from his eyes. We let him become Copy Editor of the Record with the single stipulation that he refrain from doing this--have you ever tried to read a draft studded with laser holes?
Liana Moskowitz '09
DESIGN EDITOR
Liana Moskowitz's design capibilities are matched only by her inability to describe them for this bio.
Samo Gale '10
DESIGN EDITOR
Samo is a duck.
Jerry Lieblich '10
RECRUITMENT COORDINATOR
Jerry Lieblich (born September 21, 1947) is an American author of over 200 stories including over 50 bestselling horror and fantasy novels. He was the 2003 recipient of The National Book Foundation's Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters. Known for his novels such as "Carrie", "The Shining", and "Pet Semetary", his works have been adapted into films and TV specials that have frightened generations of Americans.
Xander Dominitz '09
BUSINESS MANAGER
And the clouds parted, and the Newts in the dewgrass chirped, and the Sparrow said to the Hunter, "I am Xander of Califorah, King of Financia Budgetium, Sovereign of the Land of Expensa. I destroyed the Temple of SSS, stole the desk of Beh-Ti Tyrranous, and brought it back to Yor-Kst Reet, where I erected it as an offering to my god." And the sun shone, and the villagers bought ads, and the balance sheets turned from red to black, and all rejoiced.
Reuben Barrientes '10
ART DIRECTOR
I am a banana against three red koopa shells.
I splash against every thunderbolt.
I fall as a T into square gaps.
I am a deku nut.
I am a green man.
I struggle hours before Brock.
I lose myself in deep, dark corners.
I am a scarecrow bearing a skyward hookshot.
Matt Bakal '10
EVENTS COORDINATOR
Matt has vibrant red hair. Hopefully, you will love him for that. If not, then life's a real bitch.
Celina Kirchner '10
CIRCULATION MANAGER
Readers interested in Celina's bio can subscribe for the low price of $20/year. Contact Celina Kirchner for details.
David Newman '09
ALUMNI COORDINATOR
David Newman is a fictional character in the Star Wars universe. He was played by Harrison Ford in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. David is a central character in the Star Wars saga. In the first released Star Wars film (A New Hope), David appears as a largely self-concerned spice smuggler who only reluctantly and somewhat accidentally becomes involved in the rebel movement against the evil Galactic Empire. Over the course of this film and its sequels (The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi), David becomes a chief figure in the Rebel Alliance . Star Wars creator George Lucas describes him as "a loner who realizes the importance of being part of a group and helping for the common good."
Doug Lieblich '08
SENIOR EDITOR
The story of Doug Lieblich is a whimsical legend wrought with more whimsy than a website bio can contain. As a babe, Doug was of course abandoned in a dilapidated dumpster behind K-Mart. Alone and forsaken he quickly acquainted himself with three imaginary friends and Jane Seymour, the actress who played Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman who also happened to live in that very dumpster. Years past and his hard discipline/bribery techniques landed him a cushy pad at Yale but without a direction and more rashes than a French prostitute (unlicensed, certainly). On a fateful day, during a routine visit for his Human Sexuality class at the New Haven morgue, Doug was bitten by a radioactive humorist. "Ouch," Doug proclaimed, "You must have given me magic powers to be an amazing comedy writer from which I can go forth and spread laughter throughout the world." The radioactive humorist responded, "Nope, you just got AIDS."
David Litt '08
SENIOR EDITOR
Now that you want him, you can't have him. Funny how things work out like that, eh?
Sean Gandert '08
SENIOR EDITOR
After years working on the Record, sometimes building it up and sometimes taking it down from the inside, Sean is finally able to rest peacefully with the knowledge that if the magazine tanks it's on somebody else's head. Now he takes pride in his role as the ghost in the machine, the power behind the throne, or that irritating backseat driver who won't shut up, depending on who you ask.
Celeste Ballard '08
SENIOR EDITOR
Celeste, a tiny dancer, held Elton John a little too close. Now he's dead.
Kendall Rice '08
SENIOR EDITOR
It’s a widely known fact that Kendall will eat anything you set before him. This inspired M. C. Escher to create a famous optical illusion in which two Kendalls devour one another simultaneously. Confounded by this paradox, Kendall ate M. C. Escher in vengeance, which is why you never see him around.
Daniel Nagler '08
SENIOR EDITOR
*. Ba-zing!
*Joke pending.
George London '08
SENIOR EDITOR
London is a city, silly, not a surname.
Nick O'Neill '08
SENIOR EDITOR
Nick O’Neill is from Syracuse, NY, and enjoys eating pudding. A lot of pudding. If on the off chance he’s not eating pudding, he might be running, playing squash, learning random skills like wiggling his eyebrows, or maybe even wandering about in a residential college near you distributing the Record. But he’s probably eating pudding. That just about sums Nick up.
Ivan Dremov '07
SUPER SENIOR EDITOR
Ivan Dremov left Russia for Indianapolis in 1995 in order to get enough education to become the Yale Record's circulation manager in February 2004. He then refused to leave Yale or the Record, hanging on as Managing Editor, Senior Editor, and Super Senior Editor. In his free time, Dremov speculates on commodity markets, listens to Duran Duran, and runs his corporation, Ivan Dremov Living OmniMedia.
© 2007 by the Yale Record. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer: This magazine is published by Yale College students and Yale University is not responsible for its contents.