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Ice caps melting, polar bears drowning, STEP coordinators urinating on themselves out of panic... same old, same old. But as climate change worsens, what else can we expect? The Record staff has the apocalyptic answers:
- Premiere of Day After the Day After Tomorrow
- Barbara Walters No Longer Frigid Bitch, Now Merely Bitch
- Elderly Jews Must Learn to Flee Polar Bears
- Law and Order: SVU Canceled After Ice T Melts
- Season Four of Lost Reveals the Island to be Antarctica
- Vanilla Ice Nostalgia Sweeps Nation
- Thawed Ted Williams Helps Red Sox Capture Division
- NatiIce Gets Worse
- Frozen Food Section Renamed Food Section
- Kevin Costner Wins Lifetime Achievement Award for Waterworld
- Icey-Hot Deemed Prophetic
- California Roommates Stop Bitching About the Weather
