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Enjoy the first of our Cheif James A. Perrotti-themed poetry, a parody of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven". Find more poetry, including haiku and and limericks, in our Crime Issue, being released tomorrow!
"The Raven"
By Bill Toth
After a trek to get cold dairy, a student wandered tired and wary
'Past the fronts of many a dark and empty store.
As she ambled, her bags a-schlepping suddenly there came a stepping.
Some gang this man was repping repping, past a homeless man's noisy snore
"A crimson" said she "is passing this man's loud obnoxious snore"
Only this, and nothing more.
As the dark grew ever thicker, steps kept coming quicker quicker
tracing-pacing this woman. Who knew what for?
In her chest there came a pounding, as a corner she was rounding
The man here still he came a-bounding following her to campus from the store.
Some man who's looking for his grounding, following to this poor student's door.
This Yalie girl who's name was just "Lenore"
Soon enough he came a reaching, covering her mouth attempting screeching
"stay quiet" he was beseeching, "give me money" he suddenly did implore.
As he persisted to be grabbing, her sides he was violently jabbing
she was fearing he'd be stabbing-stabbing the young woman named "Lenore."
The brilliant, beautiful, brunette babe whom her parents named "Lenore"
He took her wallet, and nothing more.
She collapsed with a broken bone, far from sight of a Yale blue phone
because she had walked home alone, the lovely woman named "Lenore".
Soon enough the police Chief, brought her to DUH to relieve her grief
Then went off to catch the thief who had assaulted poor Lenore.
And reported to the student body the attack on poor Lenore. Quoth Perrotti- Nevermore.
"The Raven"
By Bill Toth
After a trek to get cold dairy, a student wandered tired and wary
'Past the fronts of many a dark and empty store.
As she ambled, her bags a-schlepping suddenly there came a stepping.
Some gang this man was repping repping, past a homeless man's noisy snore
"A crimson" said she "is passing this man's loud obnoxious snore"
Only this, and nothing more.
As the dark grew ever thicker, steps kept coming quicker quicker
tracing-pacing this woman. Who knew what for?
In her chest there came a pounding, as a corner she was rounding
The man here still he came a-bounding following her to campus from the store.
Some man who's looking for his grounding, following to this poor student's door.
This Yalie girl who's name was just "Lenore"
Soon enough he came a reaching, covering her mouth attempting screeching
"stay quiet" he was beseeching, "give me money" he suddenly did implore.
As he persisted to be grabbing, her sides he was violently jabbing
she was fearing he'd be stabbing-stabbing the young woman named "Lenore."
The brilliant, beautiful, brunette babe whom her parents named "Lenore"
He took her wallet, and nothing more.
She collapsed with a broken bone, far from sight of a Yale blue phone
because she had walked home alone, the lovely woman named "Lenore".
Soon enough the police Chief, brought her to DUH to relieve her grief
Then went off to catch the thief who had assaulted poor Lenore.
And reported to the student body the attack on poor Lenore. Quoth Perrotti- Nevermore.
