Love for America Rekindled by Viewing of The Patriot
By Gregor Nazarian
MADISON, WI--Resident Robert Lawton experienced an unexpected surge of patriotism Tuesday after a solitary late-night viewing of the 2000 blockbuster The Patriot. The experience demonstrated to him the United States' supremacy in qualities such as freedom, loyalty, tomahawk marksmanship, and moral courage. The film, directed by German-born Roland Emmerich, has also forced Lawton to reassess his position on the British military, which had been favorable since an April viewing of Zulu, starring Michael Caine.
Lawton's fervor for the land of his birth reached its highest point when he skipped the second half of the credits to search his hallway closet for the American flag he had purchased at a 2003 yard sale after watching Glory, featuring Denzel Washington. The flag, Lawton said, "will be out there flying free as the spirits of Captain Martin's murdered sons, as soon as I can borrow that ladder from [co-worker] Will [Balducci]." The flag temporarily rests on top of Lawton's microwave, next to a bowl of assorted El Paso sauce packets, which Lawton purchased Monday after a Taco Bell commercial rekindled his love of ethnic foods.
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