- If Charlie Sheen were a dull object, he'd be losing his Sheen.
- If Charlie Sheen were a Christina Aguilera Platinum Hit Single, he'd sing, "I'm a Sheenie in a bottle, baby, better rub me the right way."
- If Charlie Sheen were a religion, he'd be called Sheentoism.
- If Charlie Sheen were an interactive DVD game, he'd be called "Sheen It?"
- If Charlie Sheen were an affirmation of Christian faith, he'd be called the Nisheen Creed.
- If Charlie Sheen were a dessert shop at the mall, he'd be called Sheenabon.
- If Charlie Sheen were a movie about a casino heist, he'd be called OSheen's Eleven.
- If Charlie Sheen played soccer, he'd use Sheenguards.
- If Charlie Sheen were a well-behaved child, he'd be Sheen and not heard.
- If Charlie Sheen used rock music to express his anger at his father, he'd be called Rage Against the M. Sheen.
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