From the author of The Bible and its gripping sequel, The Book of Mormon, we are proud to announce God's Laboratory: The Man, The Myth, The Maker, now in its second edition with a forward by Carl Sagan. Follow The Lord on a journey through human technology past, present, and future, presented through stunning excerpts from his personal laboratory journal. But you don't have to believe me because I'm a paragraph; just take a look at these excerpts omitted from the previous edition:
The Sharpened Bone: "I thought that natural selection might
need a helping hand."
Television: "This should keep them distracted while I figure out what the hell is going on in Africa."
The Ostrich: "I think irony is my strongest suit."
The Internet: "In 1993, I decided that humanity was ready for the second coming. A new messiah, in my image and likeness, that people could turn to in times of need, that would open up communication between the nations, that would foster peace and goodwill through the broader understanding of human intelligence and compassion. So I created the internet. Wouldn't you know but they filled it with porn. And not just the light Cinemax stuff; they got creative. There was this one woman who had a couple sheep and a pillowcase full of AA batteries and well, I don't know. Somehow, I'm not surprised."
Fire: "I knew Man would fuck that up."
God's critics and colleagues agree, this book is righteous.
Abraham - "I'll kill my first-born to get this book. No, really."
Jonah - "I'd read this book, if I could read or not be in this whale."
Pope Benedict XVI - "I think it's great! Take it from me; I'm infallible."
Holy Spirit - "This book will leave you uncomfortably satisfied."
