Yale Record Blog

The Vote Early, Vote Often Issue is here! Read all about the Record's top 100 numbers of 2008, Dick Cheney's guide to the Vice Presidency, the struggle to be the Record's Editor-in-Chief, and how one student came out of the conservative closet.

By Nikhil Sud, '10

In a world without that wonderful movie trailer voice, mere italicized words could be used to set up a context, but weren't...

Shmobama (names changed drastically to maintain privacy): There you go, pig named Shmig to maintain privacy. There you go. I believe Rose is your favorite shade. This is my wife's favorite lipstick too. There, we're done. See how nice you look?

Shmichelle: What in the world are you doing, Shmarak?

Shmobama: It's her favorite color.

Shmichelle: Oh. But you are aware that this makes no difference. You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig.

Shmobama: A pig with lipstick! It's way more than just a pig now. Transformed.  
 "Pig" and "Pig with lipstick" are diametrically opposite entities. It's like you and you with lipstick. Not the same. It's basic math, Porky. Anyway, what's that in your paws?

Shmichelle: Yeah, that's what I came to you for. There's this huge jar of change we've gathered, and there's tons more inside. I think we need to get rid of it. I wish there were a way in which you could give all this change to the American people.

Shmobama: Ting! I have an idea! I'll run for President and give change to the American people.

Shmichelle: The Onion has already done this joke.

Shmobama: I don't read The Onion, so booya! Also, just so you know, puns disgust me. They apparently inspire me, but nevertheless disgust me. They're the lowest form of humor. And that's the one thing even lipstick can't improve.

Schmichelle:  So if you put lipstick on a pun...

Shmobama: It's still a pun.

Shmccain: Hi, don't call my running mate a pun.

Shmichelle: Who do you think you're talking to?

Shmccain: That one (while pointing to but not looking at Shmccain)!