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Dear Japanese Citizenry…
I’m sorry, but it was just too much fun destroying your cities, breathing fire, knocking over buildings, and being in movies. No hard feelings? -Harry S. Truman…
Dear Peter Paul, and Mary…
Here's a hammer. Ball's in your court. -Jake…
Dear Illinois Confederation of Native Americans…
Our apologies for the use of “Chief Illiniwek” as the Illini mascot. We did not mean to offend, encourage Native American stereotypes, or generalize Native American culture in any…
Dear Hipsters…
Whoa. Whoa. First you steal my wardrobe, then you all start growing beards too. I’m totally suing for copyright infringement. -Paul Bunyan…
Dear Tax Cats…
Help, oh help! I'm in grave need of a cute cuddly accountant! Signed, Person Who Is Soon To Be Audited Thanks To His Blinding Affection For Cats…
Dear Mr. Clean…
If I had know what you were going to use those “urinal” cakes for, I wouldn’t have baked you any! Mrs. Clean…
Dear Labels and Signs, Inc…
Your idea for the new symbol designating bathrooms as co-ed is, while creative, disturbing. Please come up with a new design immediately. Your clients…
Dear Frank…
I’m tired of being walked all over, cut down, and shat on. -Your Lawn…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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