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Dear Logitech Incorporated…
Dear Logitech Incorporated, Recently, I purchased one of your Accessâ„¢ keyboards. I have searched through the entire warranty but was unable to find the phrase “jizzed all over.” Am I…
Dear Department of Orphanology…
Dear Department of Orphanology, As requested, I have compiled a list of things that orphans can’t do: 1. Fly. 2. Have parents. Sincerely, James Booth, Research Asst.…
Dear…Santa..!
Dear Santa..! Christ-mas drips .plip.plop.plip. Flying into a dream/backwardz Where? I would like a train. —The Edgemont High School Literary Magazine…
Dear Hun-Hun…
Dear Hun-Hun, Last night I took Ling-Ling out for a bamboo dinner and tired to impregnate her again, but to no avail. I begin to fear we’ll go extinct before…
Dear Yale Record…
Dear Yale Record, C’mon, guys. This isn’t funny anymore. Where’d you hide my kidneys? —Some Whiny Dork…
Dear College Freshman…
Dear College Freshman, Thank you for pointing out the numerous errors in my work. I guess I had not thought things through. —Nietzsche…
Dear Rube Goldberg…
Dear Rube Goldberg, We regret to inform you that your latest submission will not be reconsidered, as thorough testing has confirmed that all it does is molest children. It doesn’t…
Dear Scrotum…
Please take more thorough showers. -Fresh Pair of Boxers…
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Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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