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Ways to Be More Eccentric
Wear two monocles instead of glasses Start offering people “friendship bracelets” woven from your own hair Read books upside-down because “it’s better for your eyes” Deliberately misquote Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Ke$ha in…
Schedule of Batman’s Butler, Alfred
[Click the image below to see it in full size.] —Written by I. Gonzalez, Designed by S. Stern…
Pick-Up Lines to Use at the Clubs in Newport
Why the bifocals, you ask? They let me try more… positions. People tell me I remind them of a corset—touch the right button and everything comes off. Wanna take a…
The Tales of Lionel Pettibanks Witherbottom
Folklore is filled with well-loved protagonists, from Anansi the Spider to Brer Rabbit. The most sophisticated among us follow the adventures of one Lionel Pettibanks Witherbottom. The Origins of the…
The New Yorker Caption Contest
[Click the image below to see it in full size.] —Written by A. Gertler, Illustrated by I. Strauss, Designed by N. Goel…
Relationship Statuses I Would Like as Facebook Options
Single, but I get around In a hostile domestic situation with In a hostile, foreign, and militarized situation with Single, but probably sleeping with your boyfriend Sexually and emotionally unfulfilled…
How to Sneak Into a Gala
1. Dress the part. For gentlemen, this means a top hat, tails (the bit that sticks out the back of your jacket, for those new to gala-crashing), a solid gold…
Etiquette for Your Cannibal Dinner Party
1. When you arrive at the party, don’t peg yourself as one of “those people” who makes the same old, clichéd jokes that get made at every cannibal dinner party.…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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