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Editorial – The Scientific Issue

I’m gonna be real here: I don’t know much about science. My sea monkeys died on their second day in my care. I haven’t taken a real science class since high school (sorry, Natty D). Until recently, I thought ionic bonding was when you built your columns too…

Science Courses From Yale Past

BIOL 140 – Modern Equine Care BIOL 392/ENGL 115 – Literary Humors: Bile, Etc. CHEM 114 – Comprehensive General Chemistry: All Four Elements CHEM 220 – Introduction to Organic Alchemy CPSC 112 – Introduction to Abacus Programming E&EB 125 – Creationism and Him EVST 125 – Earth’s Changing…

Internal Memorandum: Thrusting Ahead

To: Research Division From: Corporate Headquarters Date: 2/23/2014 Re: Research Objectives Thrusting Ahead Dear Scientist Thralls, Pfizer is and has always been committed to learning what lessons we can from the serendipitous nature of our research. Who knew that little hypertension project on Sildenafil would produce our number…

Other Things That Thomas Edison Failed 1000 Times At

Saying the word ‘butternuts’ into a phonograph without laughing Beating Level 6 of Mortal Kombat Touching his tongue…

Other Kinds of Darwinism

Anti-Social Darwinism – Arose when Netflix started a new promotion, promising free subscriptions to college students on break…

Reasons Engineers Chose Yale Over MIT

MIT’s mascot is fucking Tim the Beaver Brandon Levin’s eyes MIT’s big “Calculus Under the Sea” and “Suicide…

Fermat’s Second-To-Last Theorem Finally Proven

After centuries of baffling the world’s greatest mathematicians, Fermat’s Second-to-Last Theorem has finally been proven. Fergus Kirkenheim, who…

Things The Large Hadron Collider Also Collides

A boring, unflavored Cheez-It and a 6,000-pound wedge of cheese Two unrealistically attractive characters in a Nicholas Sparks…

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