Preview: The Muppets

PG for fart shoes, puppet electrocution, unflinching portrayal of the difficulties of being green

Release Date: November 23, 2011

Let me tell you a little something about America. Our most important institutions, in order, are these:

1. “USA” chants
2. The free press
3. Potato chips
4. The Muppets
5. The rule of law

And if you’re doubting #4, allow me to explain: In my family, the Muppets are royalty. A new Muppet movie is to us what the royal wedding is to British people, with their sadly misplaced priorities.

The million-dollar question is whether Jason Segel – of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, How I Met Your Mother, and a variety of lewd-but-sweet Judd Apatow projects - can rescue the franchise from its downward trajectory since Jim Henson’s death in 1990. I’m hopeful: this is a labor of love for Segel, who stars in the film as a character who loves the Muppets almost as much my sisters and I do.

I’ll refrain from further judgment now. Expect a full-length review in the near future, following my standard format:

• 7 words for the ADD-afflicted
• 70 words for the busy
• 700 words for the procrastinators
• 7000 words for the Muppet-obsessed