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Home » Writing » Columns & Casuals » Ten Reasons Why I Hate November, As Told By Miss Nola Cooks

Ten Reasons Why I Hate November, As Told By Miss Nola Cooks

today i feel hatred e1322083546679 Ten Reasons Why I Hate November, As Told By Miss Nola Cooks I don’t like to hate things. That’s a harsh way to go about life. But I feel it’s important to speak the truth. Some people say this makes me very a noble person.

Right off the bat, the first reason why I hate November. I hate that the only thing good about November is Thanksgiving. I wish everyday in November was Thanksgiving. I’d have no problem if that were the case. However, that’s not the case. So there you go. You could say I hate November as much as I love Thanksgiving. Believe me. I LOVE Thanksgiving, but not as much as Halloween. We’ll get to that later.

Reason 2. November’s cold and wet. Do you know the quickest way to find out your shoes aren’t waterproof? November. Then you have to buy new shoes. This takes time and money. By then, nobody’s happy. I don’t feel like wearing boots yet. In November temperature begins to drop and the cold creeps in. I just can’t take the cold. I’m only human. This happens to be one of my flaws.

The Third.  Topaz is a stupid birthstone. July (my birth month “ruby”) is much better.

Fourth. I tend to eat more in November because well it’s Fall and Winter’s coming. Winter once began on November 11, according to the calendar of ancient Rome. Leaving me to think: “A little meat on my bones won’t hurt, I’m not wearing anything too revealing.” Or perhaps, “Summer time is over! It’s time to embrace hibernation.” These thoughts fill my head as the month ticks by. Come Spring, I will have love-handle-sized reminders of regret once again. Months of accumulated beer belly regrets.

Five. I hate November because it’s almost Halloween. Halloween is the best holiday, hands down, of the year. Free Candy. Who doesn’t love free candy and a good excuse to dress up like an idiot? Halloween is the best holiday of the year. November starts exactly right after it. Play time over. (Although cheap Halloween candy is the ‘bomb’.)

6. By this time of the year usually, I’m single and more then likely on the rebound. This is frustrating, as I tend to get a bad case of the ‘burned loins’. I don’t really wish to elaborate on this. Just know that it’s frustrating.

Seven. November is the prime time to Christmas shop. Generally after Christmas shopping, all I want to do is give people a lump of coal. Some people deserve it, but apparently that’s ‘rude’. I think it’s character-building. “Tomato, tomato.”

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